From Library of the Randirim

~~by LOTRFan101

[ A hobbit--who from the looks of him, has barely "come of age"--waves for silence and clambers atop the nearest chair, so that he is not entirely dwarfed by the Big Folk crowding into the tavern. With only a brief pause, he begins to recite a series of stories, "every word of which is Completely True; you have my word as a Warrior of the Shire on that one!" ]

"I call this one The Tale of the Mushrooms.

"So I was a young lad, still in my teens as a matter o' fact, and I had this cousin who was even younger than me. 'Twas getting boring just sittin' around the hole doin' nothing, so I sez to my cousin, I says, 'Hey, why don't we wander down to Bamfurlong--to Maggot's fields?' And he bein' young and ignorant is up for it.

"So we wanders down to the farmer's fields. Now if'n you never heard of Owld Maggot, his place is home to the best mushrooms in all the Four Farthings. So I thought to myself, 'I'll just borrow a couple to take home and eat!' So I grabs a sack and starts pickin'. All the while my cousin--Redd we call 'im--is whinin' and moanin' about how this is stealing and such nonsense.

"So I ignores him, and just have my sack full up when I hear barkin' in the distance. It was Maggot's dogs, the most infamous beasts in the Shire! I had to get out of there sharpish, 'cause the owld farmer doesn't like when people borrow his mushrooms, you see. So quick as a wink, I shoves the sack into Redd's hands and runs fer my life.

"Never did find out what Owld Maggot did to my cousin..."